15 minute cycle: art of soothing
Around three months ago, my wife and I experienced the joy of becoming parents for the first time. As newcomers to parenthood, the initial three months proved to be quite challenging for both of us, primarily because we continue to live separately in our own apartment, which is uncommon in South-Asian households, even after the arrival of our baby. Consequently, we handle most tasks on our own, with the utmost importance placed on caring for our precious little one. My wife, as a new mother, is performing admirably by taking care of both the baby and me. However, as you can imagine, being a mother is not an easy role, particularly during the first six months or so. Therefore, as a father, it is crucial for me to assume more responsibility and assist her.
Usually the baby fall asleep while being fed. However, as he grows older, this occurrence has become less frequent, requiring my wife to manually soothe him through gentle touches and movements. Unfortunately, this process is quite challenging for her, as it takes at least an hour (in addition to feeding) to help him settle into a peaceful sleep. As a result, I have recently taken on the responsibility (not full-time yet 😁) of putting our baby to sleep once he has been fully fed. After some time of doing this, I observed a pattern on how to properly do this.
Typically, I initiate this process by cradling the baby in my arms, positioning them horizontally, and gently swaying or rocking them to create a soothing experience. Throughout the process, I use a combination of horizontal and vertical movements, with a predominant focus on horizontal motions. Vertical movements are utilized intermittently, serving as a transition between two successive horizontal movements.
Five minute barrier
Before starting the process it is really important that the baby has been fully fed and any necessary burping has been completed. Then gently take the baby into my arms and start a gentle horizontal motion. This particular phase is undoubtedly the most challenging, and even if the baby is partially asleep, I persist with the gentle movements for the initial five minutes without interruption. Primarily, I employ horizontal motion, but I intermittently incorporate vertical motion to enhance the baby’s relaxation.
During this phase, unless the baby is partially asleep, they may attempt to establish eye contact with me or engage in subtle gestures such as smiling or sticking out their tongue mischievously. Although these actions are undeniably adorable (I feel tempted to shower him with kisses), I now comprehend that they are intentional interruptions to halt the soothing process. Therefore, in the initial period, I minimize eye contact until we reach the five-minute mark.
Next five minutes
If I completed the initial 5 minutes successfully at this point the baby is usually half asleep. Consequently, my movements become even more gentle, and I incorporate brief pauses between each motion to assess whether the baby is sleeping soundly. I find that these pauses provide a rhythmic quality to the soothing process. This five-minute phase is relatively effortless, as long as I refrain from making unnecessary noise or sudden movements that might disturb the baby. In doing so, the baby will sleep peacefully (even though not in a deep sleep).
The last five minutes
I believe this is the second most challenging aspect of the process, as this final touch must be executed flawlessly to ensure the baby enters a deep sleep.
During this phase, I proceed with the movements at a slower pace, allowing for significantly longer pauses between each motion. This deliberate adjustment ensures that the baby, who is now in a mid-sleep state, is not disturbed by ongoing movements.
During this five-minute period, when I find myself pressed for time, I may feel tempted to place the baby in the bed. However, this moment serves as the ultimate test. It is crucial for me to remain composed and avoid rushing to put the baby in the bed if I desire them to enter a deep sleep.
The final five minutes often extend to 10 or even 15 minutes, depending on the day and the available time I have. However, the more time I invest in this phase, the greater assurance I have that the baby will be completely calmed and enter a deep sleep when I finally lay them down in bed.
So, am I a baby soothing expert 😆, not by a long shot I am not. But, this is how I do it. I just felt like writing it down just as a reminder.
Happy, soothing….! 👼
